WHERE A "WILLING SPIRIT" GOES
by Jenny McAllister
[Editor's Note: Several weeks ago we considered Psalm 51:12, "uphold me with a willing spirit." And then in these last two weeks Tony has been explaining the realities of local church life (i.e. life) and how we're called to help each (aka. counseling). Jenny McAllister shared a story in response to Tony's encouragement. It's a story full of befuddlement, prayer, hope, and help. I pray that it will be something the LORD uses to "uphold" us all "with a willing spirit." (And if you have a story you'd like to share, please email it to me!) -DG]
In reading Tony's writing a memory of a past family I worked with while running an adult day center came to mind. The woman we were caring for at the day center had very progressed dementia. Her symptoms were atypical for her diagnosis and personally I was challenged by how our team was going to meet this lovely woman's needs and help her husband continue caring for her at home.
She had aggressive behaviors and hallucinations/delusions that came on very quickly with very little notice. I coined it the "Incredible Hulk Syndrome." She was so strong that she could literally lift a couch and throw it with ease. I had never, and to this day have since never seen this type of aggressive behavior in a person living with dementia who did not have other underlying mental health concerns.
I vividly remember sitting at my desk at the end of a long day praying over my concerns for her. If I discharged her from the program who else would take on the challenge of meeting her needs? Because of her disease she was, at that moment, "a danger to herself and others" (verbiage every residential care facility uses as a reason to withhold admission or to discharge a person). A still small voice in my head whispered that God never creates hopeless situations.
Along with that whisper came a memory of a prayer I had prayed at the start of my employment with that organization. The department was bleeding financially when I took the job. So much so that I was concerned that I wouldn't have a job soon because the foundation was completely funding its operations. There were literally seven clients attending the program so on any given day there were, at most, five people there.
So...I prayed. I prayed that God would help me identify opportunities to grow the program. Through those opportunities I prayed that He would send people through our doors that we were equipped to help. I promised...dare I say vowed...that I would take anyone He sent....I prayed that prayer in earnest then continued on with my day, never giving that prayer another thought.
Until this moment… when I am sitting in the basement of this day center with this woman in complete distress who I had no idea how I was going to help. That prayer came back to me, front and center, reminding me that this woman being in this program probably was not a mistake and that this situation was not hopeless. So, I prayed again that God would equip me with the tools and steadfast hope that we, together (God and my team and her family) would need to help her continue to live her best life even on her worst days.
Fast forward a few weeks, I am now in Denver at a conference that I was able to go to at no cost to our organization via a grant the organization had received. At this conference was the leading occupational therapist in the nation who works with people living with dementia. I was part of a select group of people who were receiving a two day intensive training led by her. I started to gain more knowledge about the symptoms this woman I was caring for was experiencing and why she was experiencing them. I even had the opportunity to meet with this national leader privately to consult on the individual needs and our plan of care for this woman. It. Was. Amazing! A perfectly timed answer to two prayers. I now knew how to help her and I was going to help her.
Fast forward several years...yes, you read that right...years, this lovely woman was still receiving care and supports almost until the end of her life at our day center. She rarely had an "Incredible Hulk" day after that Denver trip. And she loved my stupid jokes that I would tell her daily as I helped her eat lunch. Every day spent with her was amazing! Through God's grace and grace alone we had found our hope. Out of that challenging season my team and I went on to help many, many, many other people with atypical symptoms of dementia. We helped keep families together. We helped people live their best lives in spite of a terminal disease. We helped exhausted caregivers find their strength. And we knew who to turn to when we got stuck.
It was a surreal spiritual journey for me personally and others on that team have shared the same sentiment over the years. It was a season that has helped ground me when I feel lost and afraid. One that has empowered me to “go into the messy” with all of these people I serve. It all started with one prayer that led to another prayer that led to solutions and resolutions.
All this to say this, I don't go into hard situations like these with all of the answers but I do know who will provide them with perfect timing.
Photo by Joeri Römer on Unsplash
